Am I Expecting Too Much?

Venice - Mommage Mom · Newbie Mom Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 10

My son is in the midst of taking the Regents Exams. These tests are optional and only necessary if you wish to graduate high school with a Regent's Diploma. It was his choice to take the exams, but he absolutely refuses to study.

We found out today that he got 72 in Global History and 78 in Math A. Considering 65 is passing, should I be happy with those grades, or should I push him to do better (not that I think I would actually succeed)?

I can't help wondering what grades he would get if he studied. Is it worth the struggle, or should I just be satisfied he passed?

**Deb - Mommage Mom** · Site Admin Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 9

How does he feel about his scores?

I find with Bobby that the more I push him to excel or say anything at all when he doesn't live up to his potential, the worse he does. When *HE* recognizes that he's not happy with his grade is generally when things improve.

I just take my cue from him.

Venice - Mommage Mom · Newbie Mom Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 10

Oh, he's thrilled. His only goal was to pass. He admits that he's too lazy to study, but I know there's more to it. He was never taught proper study habits or skills. Honestly, because we were always struggling just to get through each day in the early years, at home and in school, teaching things like study skills was overlooked, but now it's a real problem.

You're right though, pushing can makes things worse. I used to be able to motivate him into having higher goals, but it got harder as he got older. He does want to go to college and become a math teacher, so we're trying to make him understand that just passing isn't good enough. I think he wants to do better, but when it comes right down to it, he can't get himself to study.

I realize you can't make someone study, but I feel like I have to do everything I can before throwing in the towel.

**Nichole** · Site Admin Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Ohio

Honestly you know your child's potential. J's potential is huge. He is a straight A student. We know this so we push him a bit. His sister is a C student. She struggles to get B's and A's. She can get them but they take A LOT of work so her mom doesn't push her more than she can handle.

I think that so long as he passed and he's happy with that perhaps you should let that go. Encourage him to push himself but don't shove it down his throat, ya know?

Venice - Mommage Mom · Newbie Mom Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 10

He got his last grade today, and he passed all three exams. He attributes that to his excellent teachers this year. He was happy, and I took him to lunch for a little celebration. He realizes he can do better, but I also understand the difficulty he has studying. He's going to a different school next year, and the work will be harder.

I think my main concern is his need to find a way to study and do the work on his own. If he's serious about going to college and being a teacher, he'll need a Masters, and I'm worried that he might not be able to accomplish that. I think the last two years of high school will set the stage for the future.

Time will tell.