Attitude

**Nichole** · Site Admin Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Ohio

My step son just turned 10. Shortly after he started puberty and his attitude and emotions are those of a teenager but his reasoning is still that of a 10 year old.

My question is how have you dealt with similar situations with your children? How do you help the child through the emotions without forcing them to grow up too fast? And how to deal with the attitude without ripping your hair out????

**Tracy - Mommage Mom** · Site Admin Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 5 Location: Ohio

This one is tough, Nichole. Mine weren't nearly that young when they hit puberty, I think they were both 12. BUT, I do remember having to try REALLY hard not to take the attitude personally. I tried very hard to be objective about it and temper my responses. It's such a fine line. You don't want to excuse the behavior and snottiness, but if you take all of it to heart, you're in for a long road.

Lots and lots of deep breaths before responding are in order. Smile

Hope that helps a bit.

Venice - Mommage Mom · Newbie Mom Joined: 13 Jun 2007 Posts: 10

I actually had that problem well before my son hit puberty. It was more a matter of mouthing off than attitude. I read in one of my books that it helps if you think of it as "mental debris" instead of taking it personally. As kids get older, they are constantly testing the waters and wondering just how much they can get away with. I try to calmly let him know that what he's saying is inappropriate and unacceptable, while at the same time not blowing it out of proportion or making a big deal of it, because that will only cause the situation to escalate. It doesn't always work, but I'm grateful for the times that it does.

I think the key is to stay calm, don't overreact, and never let him know that he's pushing all the right buttons. It's a lot easier to say than do, and I only succeed about half the time. It takes a lot of self-control.

**Nichole** · Site Admin Joined: 05 Jun 2007 Posts: 13 Location: Ohio

He has good days and he has bad days but with him staying a week with us right now, I have found what triggers his attitude. This has helped me deal with this better. Hopefully I can help him sort through his emotions. Smile